• The worst e-book marketing plan ever

    As an indie writer, it takes hard work and determination to be successful. I read a lot – and watch many, many YouTube videos – to get ideas from other authors on how to increase my e-book sales. And then, being the brilliant businesswoman that I am, I ignore all their suggestions.

    Social media is supposed to be a great way to get the word out about your books. I think social media is the root of all evil.

    I do have a Facebook page. It is rather amateurish, and a five-year-old could probably do a better job. One day in the distant future, I will make it more polished. It doesn’t matter what it looks like at the moment because I have no followers.

    And why are there no followers on my Facebook page? Because I haven’t told anyone about it. The same goes for my Twitter account. I’ve never sent out a tweet about my e-books.

    As you may have guessed, the social media route to book sales has hit a huge road block.

    But there is another way to success—telling family and friends about my books and having them spread the word.

    I’ve been writing ten years, and exactly one relative knows about it. And…I’ve sworn her to secrecy. People close to you can be your worst critics, so I’m not sure I could handle input or suggestions from family.

    With social media and family out of the question for sales, that leaves friends. In case you haven’t picked up on the pattern, I’m not getting the word out with friends either.

    I’ve told two friends that I write as a hobby. One has long since forgotten because I don’t talk about my books with her. The other friend is about as introverted as I am, so she doesn’t have many people to tell about my books.

    With this awesome approach to selling my e-books, I should be on the Amazon best seller list…never!

  • The most humiliating e-book promotion in the history of kindle

    I literally cannot give my books away. That poses a bit of a problem for someone hoping to make it as a writer.

    This past weekend, I did a promotion in which my book, Undead of Night, was free on Amazon Kindle. I won’t say how many downloads I had, but it would only take one hand to count them – with fingers  left over (yes, fingers plural).

    I didn’t exactly go all out to advertise the giveaway, but I did list the book on a couple sites. To get that kind of result was a little shocking. Good thing I have a strong ego.

    Well, to be honest, my ego can be a little fragile at times. I almost went fetal over the pitiful number of downloads of my book. I even gave up on writing – for about eight hours.

    It wasn’t the first time I’ve quit writing. Probably won’t be the last. But the reality is that I enjoy doing it.

    And so I’ll keep at it until I’m so successful that I can quit my day job. Based on the results of the weekend’s book promotion, that should happen around the time I’m a hundred and fifty years old!


  • Late one night in 2008…

    I was lying in bed struggling to fall asleep and had the oddest thought. It came and went quickly, but it was pretty specific: that I should write about a psychic matchmaker whose office was based inside her friend’s business.  I blew the idea off as ridiculous, as sleep deprived nonsense.

    Writing had never been a goal of mine. When I was in school, the thought of writing a ten-page paper was enough to cause heart palpitations. I knew anything beyond page six or seven was gonna be a struggle because I’ve always been a woman of few words. If it was hard for me to get to ten pages, how the heck was I supposed to write a whole book?

    But the thought wouldn’t go away. A couple months after I got the ridiculous idea to write a book, I began working on the story of Lizzie Chandler. It wasn’t easy finishing the book, but I eventually got it done.

    Then I put it on Amazon Kindle. A few days after that, I had a total meltdown.

    It was stupid to think I could write a book anyone would want to read. No one was going to buy it. And if anyone did buy it, they’d trash it for being horrible.

    So I went to Amazon to delete the book. To my shock, I had sold a book and received a four-star review. I have no idea how that happened so quickly, especially when I was completely unknown and had done no advertising.

    I took that as a sign from God that I really am supposed to be a writer. But that couldn’t possibly be right. Pastors say Christians shouldn’t go to psychics. That probably means I shouldn’t write about them…right?

    That’s a topic for a whole new post, maybe even a whole new blog.

    I’ll end by assuring you that I really am in my right (write) mind, in spite of any doubts you might have after seeing this post.

    Thanks for reading!



  • A rather strange writer’s blog!

    This site has had several names because I keep changing my mind about what I want to do with it. Health, beauty, writing, inspiration… You name it, I’ve probably tried it. I never stuck with any one topic long enough for the blog to grow.

    And so I’ve decided to stop trying to settle on a topic.

    Of course, I’ll be writing a lot about my e-books. But I’ll also write about whatever’s floating around in my head—which is the reason for the site’s weird name.

    There won’t likely be any serious topics because I tend to be the Pollyanna type. I might talk about my latest e-book, a favorite episode of Spongebob, or how I’ve once again blown my never-ending diet. In other words, be prepared for anything.

    For those who don’t want to read any useless rambling, just check the top of the right side panel for updates. It’ll keep you from wondering if I really am in my right mind.

    And if you made it this far, thanks for reading.