• My thin line between fiction and reality…

    I’m starting to think that my characters are becoming a little too real to me. I haven’t done any work on my latest Lizzie Chandler novel in a while, and I’m starting to miss Essie and Floyd.

    I’m a bit surprised by that. They’re not real…but I miss them.  Is that a sign that I’ve become a true writer and not just someone who dabbles in it?  Or is it a sign that I’m ready for a rubber room?

    I suppose it could mean that I should get a life. Yeah, that’s probably it. I’ve gotten too attached to my characters and need to get out and interact with real people more.

    But Essie and Floyd are more fun than a lot of people I know, so I’ll probably stay home with them. They don’t sit and text while I try to talk to them.

    And with this quick post, I’ve managed to talk myself out of socializing more.

    I’m okay with that.

  • The most humiliating e-book promotion in the history of kindle

    I literally cannot give my books away. That poses a bit of a problem for someone hoping to make it as a writer.

    This past weekend, I did a promotion in which my book, Undead of Night, was free on Amazon Kindle. I won’t say how many downloads I had, but it would only take one hand to count them – with fingers  left over (yes, fingers plural).

    I didn’t exactly go all out to advertise the giveaway, but I did list the book on a couple sites. To get that kind of result was a little shocking. Good thing I have a strong ego.

    Well, to be honest, my ego can be a little fragile at times. I almost went fetal over the pitiful number of downloads of my book. I even gave up on writing – for about eight hours.

    It wasn’t the first time I’ve quit writing. Probably won’t be the last. But the reality is that I enjoy doing it.

    And so I’ll keep at it until I’m so successful that I can quit my day job. Based on the results of the weekend’s book promotion, that should happen around the time I’m a hundred and fifty years old!

     

  • Late one night in 2008…

    I was lying in bed struggling to fall asleep and had the oddest thought. It came and went quickly, but it was pretty specific: that I should write about a psychic matchmaker whose office was based inside her friend’s business.  I blew the idea off as ridiculous, as sleep deprived nonsense.

    Writing had never been a goal of mine. When I was in school, the thought of writing a ten-page paper was enough to cause heart palpitations. I knew anything beyond page six or seven was gonna be a struggle because I’ve always been a woman of few words. If it was hard for me to get to ten pages, how the heck was I supposed to write a whole book?

    But the thought wouldn’t go away. A couple months after I got the ridiculous idea to write a book, I began working on the story of Lizzie Chandler. It wasn’t easy finishing the book, but I eventually got it done.

    Then I put it on Amazon Kindle. A few days after that, I had a total meltdown.

    It was stupid to think I could write a book anyone would want to read. No one was going to buy it. And if anyone did buy it, they’d trash it for being horrible.

    So I went to Amazon to delete the book. To my shock, I had sold a book and received a four-star review. I have no idea how that happened so quickly, especially when I was completely unknown and had done no advertising.

    I took that as a sign from God that I really am supposed to be a writer. But that couldn’t possibly be right. Pastors say Christians shouldn’t go to psychics. That probably means I shouldn’t write about them…right?

    That’s a topic for a whole new post, maybe even a whole new blog.

    I’ll end by assuring you that I really am in my right (write) mind, in spite of any doubts you might have after seeing this post.

    Thanks for reading!

     

     

  • A rather strange writer’s blog!

    This site has had several names because I keep changing my mind about what I want to do with it. Health, beauty, writing, inspiration… You name it, I’ve probably tried it. I never stuck with any one topic long enough for the blog to grow.

    And so I’ve decided to stop trying to settle on a topic.

    Of course, I’ll be writing a lot about my e-books. But I’ll also write about whatever’s floating around in my head—which is the reason for the site’s weird name.

    There won’t likely be any serious topics because I tend to be the Pollyanna type. I might talk about my latest e-book, a favorite episode of Spongebob, or how I’ve once again blown my never-ending diet. In other words, be prepared for anything.

    For those who don’t want to read any useless rambling, just check the top of the right side panel for updates. It’ll keep you from wondering if I really am in my right mind.

    And if you made it this far, thanks for reading.

  • Doesn’t Take a Crystal Ball

    Lizzie Chandler is a gifted psychic matchmaker. In need of extra money, Lizzie puts her skills to use and starts a matchmaking business. If only she could have predicted how crazy her quiet—and frankly, boring—life was about to become.

    Her first client, Barb, wants a rich, well-endowed man to become husband number four. Barb goes missing, possibly kidnapped by a man she met through Lizzie. Essie, a newly divorced, seventy-eight-year-old woman, wants to find a younger man for sex. This proves to be a difficult task with Essie’s cranky ex-husband constantly underfoot. Then Lizzie meets Tessa, her first normal client. Or so Lizzie believes. Tessa already has a match in mind. His name is Eric, and Tessa’s been stalking him for months. Lizzie quickly determines that Tessa is never going to win the man of her dreams, because Eric is gay.

    Lizzie’s oddball clients constantly test her patience and her sanity. Maybe she should have consulted a crystal ball before hanging that “Open” sign.